


What Are Friends For

by memoryrebel



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Oliver Queen Needs a Hug, PTSD, Panic Attacks, The Team Needs To Learn A Few Lessons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-07
Updated: 2018-04-10
Packaged: 2019-04-19 13:58:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14238780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/memoryrebel/pseuds/memoryrebel
Summary: Team Arrow has been split into factions, leaving Oliver to deal with his issues all alone. With his support system gone, it may just be impossible for Oliver to pull himself back out of his funk. But when the teams are forced to work together once again, maybe they'll figure it out.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So the betrayal of NTA pissed me off, but after what Diggle pulled last night, I am beyond angry. I think Oliver's friends should realize that maybe Oliver needs help rather than being blamed for all the mistakes everyone else has made. I had to fix it.

The ceiling lights were too bright and almost blinded Oliver as he stared down his own reflection in the mirror. He was exhausted. He could see it on his own face. The bags under his eyes. The lines around his mouth. He wanted nothing more than to lie down and take a really long nap. But that wasn't possible. Not for him. Forgetting the fact that he had too much work to do, with the Green Arrow and with being the mayor of Star City, he just couldn't do it. Every time he tried, the nightmares came back. Not to say that they had ever left, but lately, they had gotten worse. So much worse.

Oliver closed his eyes, letting his head drop as he leaned on the bathroom sink. Lately, it felt like everything was falling apart. Like everything he loved was being taken from him. One at a time. John leaving seemed like the last straw. Not that his best friend, his brother, was gone, it was like Oliver couldn't deal anymore. Oliver always blamed himself for everything bad that happened. He was a sin eater. But it was always his friends that pulled him back and told him just how wrong he was. Now that they were all gone, Oliver felt himself sinking lower. John saying that it was all on him didn't help matters. Now Oliver found himself wondering if everyone who told him that he wasn't to blame had just been lying to him. If he really was... evil.

A few soft knocks on the bathroom door caused Oliver to jump, jerking his head up. He turned his head toward the closed door.

"Oliver?" came a soft voice, "Honey, are you ok?"

Felicity.

"Yea," he called out, his voice coming hoarse, "One second."

Oliver leaned down and turned on the faucet, splashing some cool water on his face. It still made him uneasy. He could thank Adrian Chase for that. But it felt too hot in the bathroom and he needed to cool off. The archer took a deep breath and stood up, checking his appearance to make sure he wouldn't worry Felicity before he unlocked the door and stepped outside. Of course, his wife was waiting for him, ringing her hands nervously. As soon as she saw Oliver, she walked over to him and reached up to run her hands through his hair.

"You were in there a long time. The team is waiting."

"The team," Oliver mumbled, looking down. 

"Is that what this is about?" Felicity asked softly, "You don't want to work with them?"

"No. It's... it's not that."  
  
"Then what?" Felicity dropped her hands onto his shoulders, leaning so she'd be in his line of sight.

"I'm just tired," Oliver sighed honestly, "And I don't know if this is a good idea."

Felicity looked at him sadly, leading him to the nearest table and sitting down beside him. She took his hand and held it in her lap, rubbing her thumbs over the top.

"I know that you've been having trouble sleeping..."

Oliver cut her off with a sigh, lifting his head to look away.

"But," she pressed on, "Do you think that may be clouding your judgment a little bit?"

Oliver jerked his head around to stare at her in disbelief. It his a little too close to John's words from not too long ago. It hurt. Felicity saw the look on his face and realized her error.

"I'm sorry. But the team is back to help. And you know that you can't do this on your own. And they wouldn't be here if they didn't think they needed you too."

"Nobody ever wants anything to do with me until they need something," he mumbled, looking back down at their entwined hands. He heard Felicity sigh.

"Sweetheart, maybe we should discuss this after the mission?"

"I don't know if I can go out there when I don't trust them all to have my back, Felicity."

"Well, I think you're just gonna have to trust them. For tonight at least."

She patted his hand a few times before standing up, walking away while still keeping a firm grip on his hand. With a sigh, he stood and followed her out of the room and into the main room of the bunker.

"Finally. Kept us waiting long enough."

Oliver froze in the doorway and looked up, realizing it was John who said those words. Rene, Dinah, and Curtis all stood in the centre of the platform with their arms crossed, looking irritated. Oliver took a deep breath and continued on behind Felicity to meet his teammates.


	2. Chapter 2

"Alright, so it looks like Diaz has this warehouse heavily guarded. Probably doesn't want to lose another stash for his operation. Judging by thermal imaging, there are three guards at every entrance. And a whole boatload more inside."

Felicity rose from her chair and walked over to join the group, leaving the thermal images up on the screen. The team was standing in a small circle in the centre of the platform, sans Oliver who was leaning against on the computer desks, arms crossed in defence. He just hoped it came across as contemplating rather than nerves. The last thing he wanted was to give them another weakness to use against him.

"Oliver, what do you think?"

Oliver continued staring at the ground, deep in thought. When he didn't immediately respond, Dinah lost it.

"Oliver, are you even paying attention?"

"Huh?" he asked, looking up at the group that had all turned to him.

"Is this a joke to you? You think you can just zone out on us? This is important, Oliver!"

Felicity tried to come to his rescue, "Dinah, let's just-"

"No! Don't defend him!" Dinah said harshly, then turned to the archer, "You know what, Oliver? Maybe you should just go home if you can't take this seriously. Or anywhere else really."

"Come on, Dinah," Curtis said, stepping up to his teammate and putting his hand on her shoulder, "I don't want him here anymore than you do. We need him on this, remember?" 

"Fine," Dinah mumbled begrudgingly.

Oliver dropped his head again, staring at his feet. He knew it. This was a bad idea. He missed the concerned look Felicity sent his way. The team finished up planning, Oliver managing to mostly stay out of it. He tried to contribute a couple times, but they shot his input down every time without fail. Even John. Apparently, he really had lost faith in Oliver's leadership. All of them. They didn't even want his help. He had felt betrayal so many times, he just wished it would stop hurting already.

"Alright, team. Let's suit up," Diggle commanded, leading the group off.

"Hey, Rene," Oliver called, the other man stopping and turning to his former teammate with a disdainful look, "I'm glad to see you're finally out of the hospital."

Rene scoffed, "Yea. No thanks to you. Let's just get this done so I never have to see you again."

Oliver watched, hurt bubbling up inside him, as Rene left to follow the others. Felicity came up to him and rubbed his shoulders from behind.

"You should get going too."

Oliver sighed, "Ok."

Felicity pat his chest twice before gently pushing him away, giving him an encouraging smile. Oliver returned it, but his was strained and he went to grab his gear too.


	3. Chapter 3

The warehouse was very ominous looking from the rooftop of the building across the way. It was mostly dark with only a few pinpoints of light at the entrances. There were only two rotating guards, the rest stayed in their positions, making it very hard to find a way in. They'd just have to find a good entrance to take the guards out quietly.

"Alright, that doorway only has two guards. We'll wait for the rotating guard to make his rounds, then take those two out. Be careful not to let anyone see you, our mission depends on stealth. Move out," Diggle stood from where everyone was crouched and walked over to the edge of the building, "Oliver, man, a little help?"

Oliver got up and fired a grappling arrow, making a zip line leading down to the courtyard outside the warehouse. The team slid down it one by one, Rene and Dinah heading quickly over to the doorway and taking out the pair of guards swiftly and quietly while Oliver took out the closest security cameras with arrows. They grabbed the keys of one and opened the door, holding it open as the others ran through. They dragged the bodies through, so the rotating guard wouldn't find them, and shut the door. Once inside, the group moved through the dark warehouse quietly until they came to the lighted area where Diaz's men were working on recreating the Vertigo stash that John and Oliver had blown up.

"It looks like there are about two dozen thugs in there. Be careful guys," Felicity's voice sounded through the comms.

"Alright team, let's split in two. One team goes around the left, one to the right. We'll take em from both sides," Digg commanded.

Oliver and John went right, while the other three went left. They moved silently through the warehouse, reaching their respective positions.

"Ready," came Rene's voice over the comms. John and Oliver stood up from where they were crouched, Oliver knocking three arrows at once, taking out three goons. Then the team charged, running into the middle of the warehouse and the fighting ensued. Rene and Dinah paired off, while Curtis fought with his T-Spheres. Oliver and John were fighting together for a moment, but John left to take on another drug dealer. 

Oliver found himself trying to fight off three of the thugs all at once, which wasn't necessarily a problem. He had taken on more by himself and won before. Except two others came running in and saw an opportunity. Without John at his back, Oliver wasn't prepared for the two sudden adversaries as one of them ran up behind him and knocked his knees out from under him. He fell to his knees, his bow skidding a few feet across the floor. He tried to get up and grab it, but they kept kicking and punching him and he had to move his hands to cover his neck and head. Thinking quickly, Oliver suddenly reached out and grabbed the nearest foot, yanking his adversaries leg out from under him. With a break in the ring, Oliver was able to climb to his feet and scramble for his bow.

The vigilante managed to reach his bow, spinning around and knocking an arrow, ready to fire. That's when he froze and he felt his heart speed up tenfold. He had ended up with his back to a giant storage rack, with the five goons surrounding him. One of them had picked up a blowtorch off one of the tables and was wielding it at Oliver. He felt trapped. And the blowtorch caused images of Chase to flash through his head. All of a sudden he was back in that cell, chained to the floor. He had only frozen for a second, but it was long enough for the group to close in and one of them to get a good slash to his forehead in with a pocket knife. Blood spilt into his left eye, and it was enough to snap him back to awareness. He swung his bow out and hit one of the goons smack on the side of the head, knocking them out. One of the others had got behind him and knocked him to the ground again. The one with the blowtorch leaned down and brandished it in the archer's face. Oliver brought his hands up to protect his face and cried out when he felt the burn to his palm even through his gloves.

In a second the goons were gone, and Oliver looked up from where he was laying to see Rene and Diggle fighting off the last four goons. When they finished, Rene looked toward Oliver and reached out a hand to help him up. Oliver couldn't hold back the flinch as he saw a hand coming toward him. 

"D-don't touch me," Oliver muttered as he got up quickly and left the building as quickly as he could.

"A 'thanks for saving my ass' would be nice," Rene called after him. The rest of the team stood staring after him, looks of confusion plastered on their faces.


	4. Chapter 4

"What happened?"

The team was greeted by Felicity's question the second the elevator door opened as she came running down the stairs of the platform to meet them. 

"We were hoping you could answer that question for us," Diggle said, resting his hands on his hips, "Oliver just ran out as soon as we finished."

"Yea, left us to plant the explosives," Rene grumbled.

"I don't know!" Felicity said exasperated, "He just came running in here and wouldn't talk to me. Wouldn't even let me take a look at that cut on his face."

"I think we need to have a talk with him," Dinah said unkindly, "He clearly isn't taking this seriously."

"I highly doubt that," Felicity countered defensively, "This mission is very important to him."

"Well, he sure isn't acting like it. He's distracted on a mission, then runs out and leaves us to do all the dirty work."

"Guys," Curtis finally spoke up, "We should talk to him. But maybe civily? The guy seemed pretty freaked out."

"Yea fine. Whatever. Where is he, Felicity?" Dinah asked.

"In the garage where he parks his motorcycle."

"Come on," Dinah gestured and the whole group headed off to confront their former leader.

Oliver was sitting quietly on a bench against the wall, applying burn cream to his hand. He had changed out of his arrow suit in a pair of sweats and his grey hoodie. He hadn't treated the cut on his forehead yet. It had stopped bleeding and he hadn't yet made it to a mirror to clean it up and bandage it. His head jerked up when he heard talking in the other room. He couldn't quite make out the words, but he knew the others were back. Oliver closed his eyes and took a deep breath to calm his nerves before reaching for a roll of gauze. He had just started wrapping his hand when Felicity entered, soon followed by the rest of the team.

"Honey, can we talk to you?" she asked softly.

Oliver didn't look up from his project but he nodded. The others stepped closer.

"What the hell was that, man?" Rene asked accusingly, "You trying to get yourself killed out there? Or us?"

"Rene!" Felicity exclaimed.

"No. I mean it. Explain yourself."

The archer sighed, setting his roll of gauze aside to reach for the medical tape. He had just torn a piece off when Dinah reached forward and threw the rolls of gauze and tape off the bench.

"You could at least have the decency to look us in the eye," she seethed.

After applying the tape to his hand, Oliver looked up and they all froze when they realized there were tears brimming in his eyes. He reached up with his unbandaged hand to wipe them away.

"What do you want me to say?" he asked softly. It hit them all then just how tired he looked.

Felicity sat down beside him, picking up a cloth and dipping it in a glass of water nearby to wipe the blood off his face. He flinched when she swiped the rag over the cut. She mumbled a quiet apology and dropped her hands in her lap when she had finished.

"Oliver, what's going on?"

He looked over to his wife, wanting to tell her everything. But he knew that if he did, she'd leave just like the rest of them. And he didn't know if his heart could take it.

"You need to talk to me," she pressed gently, reaching a hand up to caress his cheek. He swallowed hard and looked down again.

"Are you okay, man?" Diggle asked quietly, crossing his arms.

"No," Oliver whispered, before raising his voice slightly and continuing, "I saw that man with a blowtorch and... all of a sudden I was back with Chase. In that cell. Chase he... burned off my bratva tattoo with one. And, I don't know. All the fear just came rushing back and I... froze."

Felicity reached a hand up to rub it up and down Oliver's back soothingly and he could feel the others shift uncomfortably at his revelation. Oliver sniffed and they all watched in shock as a tear fell from Oliver's cheek onto the bandage on his hand. He clenched his fist despite the pain it must cause him.

"Oliver, man, I-" Diggle started. But Oliver had decided that it all had to come out.

"I can't sleep," Oliver said louder, finally looking up at them all with red-rimmed eyes, "I mean, I haven't been able to... really sleep in probably eleven years. Nightmares. But this is... this is different. They've started coming every night since we all got back from the Island."

"You didn't tell me that," Felicity whispered, tears in her eyes.

"What's to tell?" Oliver asked, looking at her with desperation in his eyes, "They all left. Even John. And someday you're gonna leave too. I can't risk telling you how broken I am because I'm worried it'll scare you away. Everything I love is being taken from me, why not you?"

He looked up at the Rene, and Dinah, and Curtis, and John, "I'm alone. Thea left to live her life. You all left because I'm... a failure. And not even close to being the hero that this city deserves. And there is no way in hell that I am going to win this trial, so I'm going to lose the Green Arrow and my job as mayor. And my son."

Oliver took a deep breath to keep the sobs that wanted to rip from his chest from coming out.

"I've been trying for months to be okay. For William. For you, Felicity. For the team. But... I'm not. I haven't been for a long time. Not since my father's boat went down. I just... after everything that happened with Chase, I can't pretend anymore. I can't hold myself together anymore. Not by myself."

Oliver shook his head, leaning forward and gripping the edge of the bench tightly in both hands.

"I feel like everything is falling apart. Like I'm falling apart. And I can't deal with it anymore."

Oliver finished with a huff of breath, tilting his head back to stop more tears from falling. There was silence throughout the entire group. Nobody daring to move a muscle, apart from Felicity who reached up to run her hand through his hair. She jerked her hand back though when Oliver squeezed his eyes shut and leaned away. He suddenly stood up and headed away from the group.

"Oliver!" Felicity called after him, trying to get him to come back.

"I- I need air," he stuttered as he went through the doorway. A moment later, the team heard the elevator door open and then he was gone.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys. So I edited the last few paragraphs of chapter four. So if you bookmarked the story and have already read chapter 4, you might wanna go back and reread the last bit.

Felicity sighed, resting her elbows on her knees and her head in her hands. The others remained silent, staring at the point where their former leader had disappeared. Diggle turned toward Felicity.

"I had no idea he was this bad," he said quietly to the blonde. The whole team turned to look at her expectantly. She looked up at all of them in disbelief.

"What? And you all think that I knew?"

"Well, you are his wife," Curtis said, smiling nervously. Felicity stood up and marched closer to the group, getting right up in Curtis' face.

"His wife who that is just as shocked as you are so cut it with the looks."

"Obviously we have to do something about this," Diggle interrupted, "We have to help him."

"Oh. Now you care?" Felicity asked accusingly, turning toward the former bodyguard, "A few weeks ago you had to go do what was best for you, Oliver be damned. What changed?"

"What changed is that I just saw that my brother is hurting so badly that he's losing sight of the shore," Diggle countered, causing Felicity to look down in shame, "And I can't, I won't, stand by and leave him to drown."

"Dig's right. We have to do something," Dinah said in her soft voice, crossing her arms and turning to look at Curtis and Rene.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Rene said, holding up his hands and taking a step back, "After everything this guy's done? You just want us to forgive and forget?"

"I'm not saying that," Dinah answered, stepping toward her teammate, "I'm saying that he is clearly struggling to deal with some things and maybe we should help. Aren't we supposed to be heroes? Isn't that what we do?"

Rene averted his eyes from Dinah's strong gaze, dropping his arms and caving. 

"It's not like we have to join teams again," Curtis said placatingly, "And it's not like I'm ready to forgive everything either. But I definitely see now that his decisions were being influenced by PTSD."

"What? Like spying on us?" Rene grumbled, looking up at Curtis.

"Yes!" Curtis responded animatedly, "I see it now. He was acting out of fear. Think about it. Chase was his friend, and then it came out that he was Prometheus all along. And I'm sure this has happened a few times in the past?"

At Diggle's and Felicity's nods, he pressed on.

"He thought the same thing was happening again with us. And I mean, was he really that wrong?"

Dinah and Rene started to speak up in defense so Curtis held his hands up.

"My point is, it's PTSD. It caused him to make those choices. He needs help. Not for us to abandon him."

"Curtis is right. Oh God. Felicity, I never should have left him," Diggle announced, turning toward the blonde. She gave him a pained smile.

"I know. You don't need to apologize to me."

"But I do need to apologize to him. And I need him to know that I will be there for him this time," Diggle said earnestly.

"That's a nice sentiment. But I don't know if he'll trust you. Any of you," she looked around the group, "You all know how hard it is for him to trust people. But he trusted all of you! And you shattered it. You've hurt him over and over again for months. Do you really think he'll believe a single encouraging word you have to say?"

She turned to look at Diggle.

"I mean... You spent all of last year saying that everything going on with Prometheus was not his fault and then you blame him for his son's mother dying? Really, John?!"

The others gasped and turned to look at Diggle. They had said cruel things to Oliver too. And they were beginning to realize that maybe they had been a bit too harsh.

"Felicity, I-" John began to defend himself.

"No. He thinks everything you said last year was a lie. That everytime you told him he wasn't to blame, that you didn't mean it. He believes that you have secretly thought he was a monster this whole time. He may not tell me everything, John, but he does tell me some things. Like the things you said to him. And I don't think there is any way that he would believe a word you had to say to him right now. The same goes for all of you."

"Well, what would you have us do, Blondie?" Rene asked, turning from Diggle back to her.

"How about you SHOW him that you all care about him. Don't just walk up to him and swear that you'll be there for him from now on. Prove to him that you are deserving of his trust. Because until that happens, you aren't going to be able to help him. And I swear to you all, right here, right now, that if any of you hurt him ever again, then you will not have a bank account the next morning. I promise."

Felicity finished her speech, fixed her skirt, and looked them dead in the eye, one by one.

"Now, if you'll excuse me. I have to go find my husband. Because he really needs a friend right now, and it's painfully obvious that none of you are capable of being that right."

And with that, she marched out of the bunker, her heels clacking as she went.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright guys. I am no longer writing in a sleep deprived blur. So I have actually planned out the ending and probably managed to spew out something decent. I hope you like the edits and I will be posting the last chapter tomorrow night.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I finally figured out how to end this story! Yes! This is exciting. I haven't finished a fic in so long.

Oliver sat quietly in the bunker while he sharpened his arrows, the pieces laid out before him on the table. It had been a week since his breakdown in front of everyone and he was still in shock. He showed weakness. In front of Felicity was one thing. But in front of the others? In front of people he couldn't trust anymore! That was unacceptable. Who knew what they were going to do with the delicate information, with his weaknesses, that he had given them while he bawled like an infant. He was so mad at himself that he couldn't even begin to comprehend it. Sure he had been feeling overwhelmed lately, but he could not have a breakdown like that again. He couldn't allow that to happen. He wouldn't.

"You've got angry face," Felicity's voice sounded from behind him, causing him to jump and drop his things as he turned to look over his shoulder. He had been so lost in thought that he hadn't even heard her approach. She rushed to apologize, "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to startle you."

"You didn't startle me," he grumbled as he turned back to his work. His wife huffed a laugh as she cleared a space on the table and sat beside him.

"Right. Because nothing scares you?"

Oliver looked up at the blonde beside him and narrowed his eyes at her.

"Did I do something wrong?"

She gave him a small smile, "No. But ever since you told the team and me about what's been going on with, you've been distant. Like you're trying to pretend that it never happened."

"You know me so well," he smiled in return, attempting to go back to his work but was stopped yet again when she rested a hand on his shoulder.

"Please. Talk to me," she pleaded, the concern in her eyes almost causing him to cave, "You can't just drop a bomb like that on me and then expect me to forget about it. I'm worried about you."

"I don't want you to worry about me. I'm fine. Ok?" he tried to get her to let it go, but when she fixed her hard stare on him he sighed and gave in, "Fine. I'm sorry that I scared you."

"I don't want you to be sorry. I want you to ACTUALLY be ok," she responded, resting her hand on his cheek before leaning forward and kissing it. She moved her hand down to take his so he wouldn't start sharpening his arrows again. She needed him to actually pay attention after all. He closed his eyes, basking in the attention before opening them again to look back up into her beautiful eyes.

"I'm trying to be," he whispered.

"I know. But you trying shouldn't mean you hiding how much you're hurting," she answered sadly. He nodded his agreement.

"I know that. It's just hard."

"Nothing worthwhile is ever easy," she said softly, lifting their enjoined hands to kiss the back of Oliver's, "But I will be with you every step of the way. If you need to talk, about ANYTHING, I'll be here."

They stared at each other for a moment, neither of them willing to break eye contact. Oliver narrowed his eyes at her again.

"You mean right now, don't you?"

She looked away innocently, "Well, only if you want to. No pressure."

Oliver couldn't help but laugh. This amazing woman that he had fallen in love. She always managed to shine a light on his darkest days and he would never understand what he did to deserve her. After a quiet moment, he heaved a sigh and then leaned back in his chair, folding his hands together in his lap.

"I just... I've been thinking through everything that the team did. And everything that John said. And I'm having trouble reconciling it with this image that I had in my head of them before all of this happened. They were all trusted friends. They all for a long time, John especially, helped me through times when I was really low. Times when I was blaming myself for things that I guess I shouldn't have. But now... I don't know if I can believe any of it. I'm feeling like everything I've done, everything I've worked to do... I'm wondering if it's been just failure after failure."

Felicity grabbed another chair and moved from her to seat on the table to the chair, rolling it so she could be closer to him. She grabbed his hands and took one of his in each of hers, leaning forward and watching him closely. He smiled sadly at her.

"After Prometheus," his voice hitched slightly at the mere mention of the man, "It's been harder than usual. He... he really got inside my head. He was able to do something that nobody who has ever tortured me was able to do. He broke me. You were right. I was willing to admit to anything in order for it to stop and he had me believing it. Believing that he was right. That I was a monster. And the thing that pulled me back was you. And John. And the others. All of you trying to convince me that I was wrong. That HE was wrong."

Oliver freed one of his hands to wipe the tears from his eyes before they could fall.

"Great, now I'm crying in front of you again," Oliver huffed a sad laugh that was painful for Felicity to hear. She leaned closer and took back his hand, squeezing them both tightly.

"You never have to worry about that. I would never think anything less of you. You know that, right?"

He nodded, looking down at their entwined hands.

"Now, I... now that they've all left. I'm feeling betrayed. And I'm not sure if I can believe all those things they said last year. I can't help but wonder if Prometheus was right all along. If I really am a monster after all."

He finished with a whisper, squeezing his eyes shut, trying to keep the memories at bay. Oliver looked up when he felt a tear on his hands. It wasn't his own.

"Oliver, honey... I'm so sorry," she cried, scooting the chairs even more impossibly closer so that she could wrap her arms around him and pull him into a hug, holding the back of his neck and scratching her fingernails along the nape of his hairline. She didn't care that she was half squatting and half falling off her chair. He needed this. She felt him let out a deep breath like he'd been holding it for too long.

They both jerked up when they heard a cough coming from behind them. The pair turned in shock to see John and the others standing just a few feet away, Curtis giving an awkward smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok. So, I lied. This wasn't the last chapter. One more! I got this!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright! This is the last chapter, I promise!

"What are you guys doing here?" Oliver asked, looking taken off guard.

"We, uh, we came to talk to you," Diggle answered, stepping closer. He halted though when Oliver leaned backwards apprehensively.

Oliver looked at each of them individually before scooting his chair back away from Felicity, away from them all, and standing quickly. He stood there for a second, like he was deciding what to do, then huffed out a breath.

"I'm kind of busy at the moment. You know, John, stretched too thin. Can't be sitting around too long. Got work to do," Oliver said, walking past the group to head toward the elevator.

"We heard what you said," John called, making Oliver freeze in his tracks. 

"How much?" he asked over his shoulder.

"Enough."

The archer spun around, crossing his arms defensively, "And?"

"And... I am so sorry, man."

"Sorry?" Oliver asked in disbelief, "What good is sorry supposed to do? You meant what you said. No apology is going to change that. And since you meant it, it's probably best that it's all out in the open anymore. You don't have to deal with broken Oliver anymore or a fake hero. Your work here is done."

"I deserve that," John said quietly, stepping toward his friend, "But that's just the thing. I didn't mean it."

When Oliver scoffed, Diggle held up his hand, hoping that the other man would let him continue.

"I was angry. But not at you. Not really. When we were fighting, you pointed out that Diaz showed up while I was the Green Arrow. And that I was funding his operation by buying drugs from him. You were right. And part of me was feeling guilty about that. I shoved that guilt onto you, to make myself feel better. I threw blame at you that you didn't deserve and I am so sorry. This whole thing with Diaz is not on you. Vigilante's death is not on you. Spying on the team is not on you. I backed all of those plays. But most importantly, Samantha's death is NOT your fault. You did not kill the mother of your child. Blaming you for that, bringing all that up... I crossed a line. I went too far. And for THAT, there is no number of apologies in the world that could ever be enough."

Diggle stopped, staring intently at the man he had considered a brother. Watching the emotions flash through the other man's. Looking at the pain that he saw lurking there. The knowledge that he had caused even a little of that pain was almost too much for the ex-soldier to bear. There was silence for a long time before Oliver dropped his gaze down to his feet.

"If you heard what I told Felicity," Oliver said softly, "Then you know that I can't believe you."

"You can't? Or you won't?" Rene asked from the back of the group. He let out a huff when Dinah elbowed him. They heard a harsh whisper of "Not the time, Rene," before all was quiet again. Oliver looked up at his fellow vigilante.

"I can't. I've gone down that road of... false hope too many times. I can't allow myself to believe AGAIN that I am not some... some monster."

Dinah pushed past Rene and Curtis to stand beside Diggle, "I know you've done bad things. And after everything I've said, everything that I have done... you have no reason to believe me when I say this. But, you are not a monster. I still am so not okay with you and Felicity and John spying on us but, if I'm being fair, I was hiding things from you. I did betray the team. You had every right to think that I wasn't being honest with you all. And I know that I've blamed you for Vincent's death... but that was wrong of me. I was hurting and blaming myself and I had no right to take that out on you. To hurt you to assuage my own guilt."

"It wasn't your fault," Oliver said quietly, shuffling his feet on the floor.

"It wasn't yours either. I should never have put that on you. Vincent wasn't in that situation because of you. He was a stubborn man. You two had that in common. He would've gone in there with or without you. And I shouldn't have blamed you for going after that bomb. For choosing an entire CITY over the life of one man. I'm sorry."

Oliver gave her a tiny smile, but it was gone in an instant. Curtis stepped forward.

"Hey, man. Hey, buddy," Curtis waved awkwardly, "I know that I... didn't deserve to be spied on. Uh... I mean I am kinda the only one not doing anything shady but uh... The stuff I said about you after that. I was going around saying bad things about you. I was willing to hurt John to get to you guys, which is uh... something I should apologize to John for. I'm sorry, by the way."

John nodded his forgiveness and Curtis pressed on.

"Anyway. I told Dinah once... when she was gonna kill Laurel because of what she had done to Vince, I told her not to do it because we had made this new team so we wouldn't be like you. Now, I'm not telling you that to give you something else to be mad at me for. But, I'm telling you, because I need you to know that I know that I was wrong. You're not a saint, duh, but you're not some sort of... revenge-crazy mad-man. Ok. You didn't deserve that. So... yea. Learned my lesson and all that."

"Thanks, Curtis," Oliver muttered, shifting from side to side. He was so not good with everyone's attention being on him. And them being all... apologetic. He had grown too accustomed to their hateful glares. Dinah stepped back and grabbed Rene's shirt, shoving to stand in front of Oliver.

"Apologize," she growled.

Oliver held his hands up, "No. It's fine. I don't need it if he doesn't mean-"

"No," Rene interrupted, "I do have something to say. Something kinda... nice."

"Didn't know you had it in you," Felicity chimed in sarcastically from where she still stood by the table, watching all of this unfold.

"Yea, haha. Good one, Blondie" Rene laughed, nervously rubbing his hands together, "Look, ok. I was wrong to blab to the feds about you. But it was to protect my daughter. I know you understand that."

At Oliver's nod, he continued.

"But uh... you did apologize, way back, for spying on us. And I appreciate that. I also understand why you would've felt the need to do that. You were thinking of your own child, see I can relate. And you were totally justified. But, I never apologized to you for breaking your trust like that. Not really. We, I, never owned up to our mistakes. You did. And it takes a big man to be able to do that. I also don't blame you for putting me in the hospital. I mean... the doctors said a previous wound reopened. Even if you were pulling your punches, that still coulda happened. And I mean, we were fighting anyway. We all did things in that fight that we weren't proud of. I was shooting at your sister and... and Lance. Curtis broke Diggle's arm thing. Dinah almost killed Laurel. We all screwed up big time there. So... I don't blame you for that, Haus."

Oliver was quiet for a long time. It was rare, to say the least, that people ever apologized to him. Let alone four in one sitting. And he quite frankly didn't know what to do with this information. It was a kind gesture, but it didn't change the fact that he still didn't feel like he could believe a word of what they said.

"Felicity told us yesterday," John began, stepping once more toward his brother, "That you wouldn't believe our apologies. And judging by what you were just telling her, she was right. But everything I, everything we, just said... it's 100% true, man. We meant every word. And I am here to prove that to you. I will fight by your side. I will back every play until I PROVE to you just how much you mean to me. And I will make you see just how wrong Prometheus was about you."

"I don't know if I can go into the field with... with people that I don't trust. That's how people get killed," Oliver said, looking earnestly into John's eyes. Diggle smiled painfully back, resting a hand on Oliver's shoulder.

"Then we'll do baby steps. We'll work up to it. We discussed it over this last week and we agreed that we're willing to give you another chance. They're not necessarily ready to join our teams up again but they agreed to stop the hate mongering."

"Yea. No more name calling. We could even do trust falls!" Curtis exclaimed, smiling brightly. Oliver huffed out a small laugh.

"I guess... if you guys are willing to give it a shot, then I can too. Baby steps sound good."

"We won't let you down. Not again," John gave Oliver a gentle shake, "And when you're ready, if you need to, know that you can always talk to me, man. Ok?"

Oliver nodded in acknowledgement and smiled at his former bodyguard. He looked around at the others, noting that he didn't feel so alone anymore. That he suddenly felt like the dark thoughts that had been plaguing his mind might just go away someday. Not today. Maybe not tomorrow, or the day after that. Maybe not even this year. But someday. And while he wasn't sure if he believed their assurances quite yet and while he still didn't fully trust them, he had hope that one day... he would. That he had people now who would have his back. Baby steps. He could do this. They'd help him do this. 

After all, that's what friends are for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHA! I DID IT! TAKE THAT SLEEP CYCLE!!   
> Anyway, I hope y'all liked it. The show may or may not still redeem itself and have NTA and Dig realize what complete and utter DICKS THEY'VE BEEN!!! But I have the patience now to wait. I FIXED IT!!!  
> ENJOI!!


End file.
